Helping children understand what love is, and how we can show it in different ways. Storyberries offers free children's books and parenting suggestions on the themes of love, friendship, family relationships and feelings.
Love is one of the primary, most basic feelings. There are different ways of experiencing it, and since it is a subjective experience, its forms of expression vary. Love goes beyond the romantic ideal transmitted by fairy tales. Being loving means showing affection, respect, and understanding for the people that matter to us. It is not about giving away material things but about giving of ourselves.
In order to appreciate the needs of others, and be able to respond in loving and appropriate ways, we need to cultivate empathy. If children can acquire empathy, they are much more likely to have positive social relationships.
Storyberries provide free online children’s books, and parenting tips, to nurture an attitude of love and respect, and encourage the development of the valuable skill of empathy.
Being a Positive Role Model
Parents and primary care-givers are the main reference for children in all matters of life, and if children see us show love, they will show it too. They see love in the small everyday gestures we make, and in the daily words we use.
When we demonstrate consistent love to children, they feel secure, they can discern what real love is and they develop a trust that they are both loved and lovable, When children are surrounded by secure feelings of love, they experience an outpouring of affection for themselves and others.
How kids understand love
Like anything that is explained to a child, love should be explained in the simplest, least elaborate way and with the most appropriate words for their age. The explanation of love through words may not be enough for a child. Explain love directly through gestures like a hug. For example, hug your child and ask, “How are you feeling right now?” They are likely to say they are feeling good or happy inside. So you can explain that these are some of the special feelings we have when we feel loved, and when we love other people.
Love as acts of kindness
Love is showing dedication and wanting the other person to feel good and happy. As such, love is also complex because sometimes it means doing things we would rather not do.
There’s enough love for everyone!
We can explain to children that love is limitless by using the analogy of a glowing candle flame. After being lit, a candle can be used to light another candle, and then another, and so on.
Loving and caring for pets
Pets at home can also be helpful for explaining love. “When you pet or feed your cat, that’s love,” you can tell your child. Caring for pets helps kids to understand that love can mean taking care of someone else. Love also means setting limits. For example, we do not allow the dog to have everything he wants, such as chewing plastic, running outside or eating chocolate… because he does not understand that it can hurt him. In this way we can show that love is also a way of protecting those who are vulnerable.
Encouraging kids to trust their own hearts
Sometimes we insist on putting love into words, or giving all kinds of explanations, when in truth, deep in their soul, your child knows or intuits what love is.
Love as an energy that keeps flowing
We can explain love in many ways – with words, with actions and with gestures, but beyond these expressions, love is the energy that keeps on flowing.
We give love and we receive love in a continuous cycle. Your child will get to have their own idea of love, based on their experiences of being loved by you, and you showing them one of life’s most beautiful mysteries.
A Goldfish Adventure for Tatters and Fred
Timmy has two new goldfish called Tatters and Fred. Timmy shows his love by taking care of them and enjoying their company. One day the goldfish friends have an unexpected adventure in the river. A super story for talking about love and friendship.
The Whole World I Love It
Enjoy this beautifully illustrated and tender book about a parent’s love for a child. There are suggestions at the end of the book for discussing what love means and the different ways it can be shown.
The Seed That Grew
There are lots of different kinds of love being shown in this beautiful story. A vital aspect of love is caring for ourselves and the young girl in this story follows the warmth of her heart to grow a very special seed. She shows patience, love and care as she nurtures the seed, and then gets to enjoy it when it flowers
Article by Luzmery M. Romero Gamboa and Fleur Rodgers
Luzmery works in the area of clinical psychology as a psychotherapist for children, adolescents and families. Since 2016, she has run a Psychological Center in Venezuela called Psicoluz. She offers workshop facilitations to parents, is involved in recreational activities for children, and has been working as a freelancer since 2017 performing online psychotherapy.
Fleur is a meditation teacher in France and uses a compassion and loving-kindness based approach to meditation and slow-minded living. Fleur posts regularly to Instagram @rodgers.fleur . She has two children, is a qualified teacher in adult education and is the founder of Timeouttobreathe.com
