There’s a Stinky Goblin in the Shed – Chapter 23
'There's a Stinky Goblin in the Shed' (Chapter Twenty-Three) by Andrea Kaczmarek.
Gran was really enjoying herself – she had never had goblin visitors before and, now that Bob kept her fingers off the toilet flush, they were best friends.
Gran made up a bed for Bob from a big old washing basket and fluffy baby blankets which seemed to appear from an old cupboard. Bob had a birthday bubble bath, and it wasn’t even her birthday.
They all made pizza together, always a favourite with the boys, each putting lashings of favorite toppings on each quarter … Jerry hated salami, but loved extra tomatoes, Jacob hated onions, but loved extra salami. Gran loved extra cheese and lots of olives, Bob loved absolutely everything, so her quarter of the pizza was piled sky high. She even put jam, peanut butter and pickled onions on top of the salami and cheese!
They played snap…not Hob’s useless goblin yap version, but proper snap. Bob quickly understood the rules and won every single time; maybe she used a bit of magic, but she certainly ate all the chocolates Gran had put out!
“We gave Hob a pack of snap cards as a goodbye present.” Jerry told Bob. “Maybe he has still got it?”
Bob took slipped her hand into her pocket and pulled out the elf shoe and the present, still wrapped.
“Yes, that’s it.” Jerry looked a bit sad. “We hoped he’d play snap with his brothers.”
“Hob told us that it is a giant magic thing.” She looked a bit sad too. “I used it to come here. But now I know it is snap, I can teach my cousins Bab, Rab and Gab.”
“Your cousins?” Gran was curious “It always seems as if there are only brothers and boys back in GoblinLand. Are Bab, Rab and Gab girl goblins?”
“Yes, they are goblin girls” Bob replied. “And Hob always chases and bites them. Most of the girls don’t like Hob much.”
“Hob chases everybody, we did notice. Let’s play Uno now, snap is a bit too easy.” Jerry looked around but Jacob wasn’t there.
“More presents,” Jacob announced as he came back to the table. “Bob, these are throwaway cameras, we got them at a birthday party ages ago.” He held the small plastic box in his hand. “Maybe you could take some photos of GoblinLand for us as Gran won’t let us go back with you for a visit.” Jacob glared at Gran.
Gran repeated the talk they had had eating their pizza. “I only said that it is not a good idea. You two are certainly not magical and your mother would not allow it. Getting there is probably easy, but getting back?” She spread out her hands and shook her head. “Who knows what terrible things could happen.”
Bob quickly understood the idea of taking photos and she even managed a Goblin Selfie!
“There are 20 photos, we’ve taken a few now. Take the rest when you get back to GoblinLand and find a way to send it back to us by magic, we’ll find it somehow, don’t worry.”
Jerry smiled at Bob and they carried on with Uno. She won again, she was probably cheating.
Gran even allowed a bit of late TV before they went to bed, Bob kept looking at her Kitty Katty back pack, but there was no way the TV would fit in. Her little backpack was already full to bursting with chocolates, crisps, snap cards, the camera, a plastic swan that Gran had found, Bob’s beads and T-shirt, friendship bands, crayons, strips of ribbon, a small tube of bubble bath and almost every little thing that Bob picked up, smiled at, and then very quickly stuffed into her Kitty Katty backpack until it was bursting at the seams! Her tiny pockets were stuffed, too.
She even tried to put Gran’s Smartphone in, but Gran was too quick.” No, no, no, my little goblin girl. Not that, I am sure there is no Wi-Fi connection in GoblinLand, so that stays here, if you don’t mind.”
It seemed to be clear, without words, that Bob wanted to go back to GoblinLand after breakfast. “But you are always very welcome to visit,” Gran promised, and didn’t mention the toilet flush or the Smartphone once. “Next time you come I’ll show you how to cook spaghetti, that guzzle sounds a bit boring.”